I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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