So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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