I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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