Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left