woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
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It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
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Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.