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is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
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