I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
