Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
