IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize