Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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