he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
