I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize