We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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