Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
