Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
