i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
