Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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