She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
