my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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