We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
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She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
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Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
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