This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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