I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
