what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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