Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
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We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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