Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
