you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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