; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
All the doctor said was why
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize