Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
