Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
