Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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