Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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