very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
