I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I love having hate sex.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
