just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
