that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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