Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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