smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
