The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
