Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
