So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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