I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
