the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
