I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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