Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
