How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
