I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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