My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I hope mine doesn't look like that
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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