i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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