did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
