I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
