We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is Oprah even human
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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