do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
