Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
