Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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