census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
