I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
