from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
