every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
