He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
