And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
