woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
