I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
