I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
