Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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