Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
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