Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
