An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
